As you can tell by the title, I wanted to cover a lot of ground in this post, but I didn’t even know where to start with a topic this big.
My goal was for it to be truly helpful, not full of abstract ideas that sound great, but have no practical application.
What did I do?
I consulted my Inner Guide and just asked what I should do.
She told me, “forgiveness of the self, you need that most”.
I smiled. My Inner Guide is so smart sometimes ;)
Self-forgiveness it is…. in the form of numbered points and videos!
Take what works for you and leave the rest.
Does it get any better… yup :)
Feel free to skip to #4 if you’re short on time.
Rep 1. WHAT IS UN-FORGIVENESS?
First of all, we need to chat about unforgiving thoughts. Unforgiving thoughts are judgments that you are unwilling to question, even though they are not true. For example, I am a horrible person for doing, saying or thinking XYZ and I refuse to see myself any other way. End of story.
Another example that might float around in your head is: I don’t deserve love because I ate too many cupcakes last night.
What I have found is that when you believe these unforgiving thoughts, you also believe that you need to punish yourself.
This leads to a lot of anger towards ourselves that we then try to deflect away from us. We do this by getting angry at someone else. Deep down, we are really mad at ourselves for not being able to forgive.
Rep 2. RELEASING JUDGEMENTS
As I said above, judgements are unforgiving thoughts you are unwilling to question. In other words, it is the story you are telling yourself about yourself; the unloving perceptions based on your past experiences.
How do you get out of this pattern of unforgiveness, punishment and anger towards yourself and others?
Become willing to question your judgements (more on this below). What you will find is that they are not true.
Whenever you forgive yourself, you simultaneously forgive everyone else in your life.
Rep 3. RELEASING YOUR SECRET JUDGEMENTS
Now things are getting juicy!
Do you have secrets? Secret thoughts about yourself, other people or situations?
I used to really hate myself for a lot of negative judgments I held and I was sure that if anyone knew, they would sprint away from me like I was poison. My secret thoughts about myself eroded away at my self-esteem. I also felt guilty for any un-loving judgements I made towards other people.
Allow me to save you a lot of time here: Your secret thoughts about people, yourself or situations from the past are not real anyway, so they really don’t matter. Anything that is real, any thought from a place of love, you will want to share. If you want to keep something a secret, you can be sure you are deceiving yourself. Guilt is another form of fear.
Thoughts will come and go. You choose the ones that get power.
Rep 4. HOW TO QUESTION YOUR JUDGEMENTS AND FORGIVE YOURSELF
A couple of years ago I was introduced to The Work of Byron Katie. Not only is she funny and entertaining to watch, but her method on inquiry called The Work is truly the best, most practical way to question your judgements that I have ever found.
For those you who have never heard of her, get ready for some freedom! I say all the time in my posts that you have to get honest with yourself. Positive isn’t enough! Byron Katie’s method is a simple practical way to do just that. You will go deep into what is underneath your unforgiving thoughts.
Below I provided a few videos from Byron Katie’s YouTube channel so you can get a feel for how it works. If you want more info and free worksheets, check out her website here.
This video is about judgments and feelings of “Not living up to your true potential”:
This video is part 1 of 5 on “My body betrayed me”
This is part 2/5 on “I’m too fat”. The 3rd part can be found on YouTube here.
This is really powerful stuff people! I am really excited to share it with you. A Course In Miracles defines a miracle as a shift in perception.
You just witness miracles in all of the videos above.
Those of you who choose to do this Soul Workout, will experience miraculous changes in your life.
Yes I said it… MIRACULOUS
Please share this post if you find it helpful. Email it to a friend, tweet it or like it on Facebook. Imagine what the world would be like if we all took responsibility for our thoughts and then chose to work through them and truly forgive ourselves.
Feel free to email me or comment below with your thoughts,
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