When I sat down to write this post, I will be honest, I had no idea what was going to come out of me. I decided that instead of trying to think of a clever topic, I would just start to write as a form of meditation. Even I am surprised with the topic I chose…
The voice for fear or the voice for love.
The choice sounds obvious, but lately I have been siding more with fear.
There are so many changes going on in my life and I am quickly starting to feel distracted from my truth.
Writing is how I come back.
I had an interesting experience last week that I want to share with you.
Someone yelled at me. Literally yelled at me.
I can’t recall someone yelling at me like that since I was a little kid, covering myself in glue and trying to stick myself to the swing-set.
Yes, I literally glued myself to a swing… I got in a lot of trouble for that one :)
Anyway, this time I was at work, and as I was being yelled at, time seemed to slow.
I knew that the thoughts I chose about the situation would be critical.
I had two choices. I could go into defense mode or I could see it as a call for love.
I remembered a lesson from A Course In Miracles which says, “In my defenselessness my safety lies”, so I did not defend myself. I just stood there.
Now a lot of you might call that being a push-over, but from a spiritual perspective, that was the most empowering thing I could have done.
A Course In Miracles has taught me that everything is either love or a call for love. My boss yelling at me was a deep call for love. When I looked at it from that perspective, how could I get angry? If I got angry and defended myself, I would be stepping into fear and illusions, which is the opposite direction I ultimately want to go.
The rest of my day was fine.
When I got home, I thought about the scenario a little more, and I remembered that everything I see and experience is a reflection of my own mind. My boss yelling at me was just a reflection of all the times throughout the day I yell at myself.
Whoa. That’s a deep one.
This was a huge turning point for me. I realized that I too had a deep call for love, and that I never wanted to yell at myself like that again. I suddenly had a lot of compassion. It was a reminder to release all the pressure I put on myself.
I finally understood how disturbing listening to the voice for fear is to my peace of mind.
Naturally, I became willing to forgive myself for treating myself so harshly at times. I became willing to forgive myself for all the expectations and judgments I placed on my shoulders.
As a result, I was also able to forgive my boss for yelling at me.
That’s a shift in perception.
That’s a miracle.
I never thought I would be thankful for the experience of being yelled at!
It’s short. It’s simple. It’s life changing, and for this weeks Soul Workout, I encourage you to give it a try.
Set aside at least 10 minutes to sit with yourself and do the following:
1. Think of someone in your life you are mad at because you feel they treated you wrongly.
2. Close your eyes and go back to the situation with the intention of seeing it as a deep call for love, not an attack on you.
3. Ask yourself where in your life are you being rude, judgmental and/or angry towards yourself?
4. Recognize that too, is a call for love.
5. Repeat to yourself (even if you don’t believe it): I am willing to forgive myself. I am willing to forgive ____.
Do this Soul Workout anytime you feel yourself getting angry with someone else. This exercise will point you towards forgiveness instead of towards separation and anger.
“Forgiveness paints a picture of a world where suffering is over, loss becomes impossible and anger makes no sense.” – A Course In Miracles.
As I type this post, I am filled with a deep feeling of gratitude for the opportunity to share this. I love opening my heart and mind to the world and connecting with you, yes YOU. I am truly thankful for those of you who write to me in the comments and/or emails. You are helping to heal me more than you know.
miracles and moxy my mighty companions,
“My boss yelling at me was just a reflection of all the times throughout the day I yell at myself.”
Wow, I’d never thought of it that way. I’ve just lately started to realize how much negative self-talk I do, so this is a big eye-opener to me, too… Thanks!